At times, I do feel that life is so extraordinarily simple in it’s complexity. At times I feel as an idealist, I may simplify events and circumstances as a gesture of practicing faith in my very simple approach to life…LOVE IS ALL. It is my religion. It is my deepest calling. It is my Dharma, It is my life’s lesson. Accepting that LOVE IS ALL, in ALL things. One thing I know about myself is that I am best when in active Bhakti. I love and like myself best then. I feel lighter and the burden of walking this earthly walk next to others is more bearable. The heaviness of this web of life that we have collectively weaved can be embraced with a deep understanding and compassion. It is only through my heart that my spirit can sing my song. It is only from there that I can hear my echo of eternity. It is only from there that I can be present to the current experience of life within and without. It is only from there that I can access the past future. Where I can sit in light and consciousness of my Beloved as she roars her roar, sings her song and walks her walk of victory and liberation. Now what does all this look like in real time present moment?….I don’t know…it is to be lived one courageous YES at a time. One prayer at a time. One sacred breath at a time.
Journal entry from the sky above Skaneateles, N.Y.
I see it. I can smell it. I can hear it. Oh, is it ever so
magnificent! Big, strong and beckoning. Is it calling my name? Does it
need my attention? My body seems to think so. I move closer until I’m
standing at the edge. My breath is growing faster and I feel my
insides quiver. I move forward. I feel the flat pebbles welcoming my
feet with kisses as I walk into the cold wetness of the lake. My
breath is hard to follow now as my body contracts around it. The
beating of my heart is echoing in each and every cell of my
body…something is coming alive. I’m having thoughts of abandoning my
skin which is growing colder and more uncomfortable by each gasping
breath. I don’t have to do this!…yes, I do…I so desperately do! I
can not resist the seduction of the waves promise while they are
relentlessly crashing into my shivering body and motioning me to come
further…to come deeper….to come. In a mad second of surrender and
ecstasy I release myself into the arms of the lake…and here I am set
In my new found freedom I am not alone. The most beautiful mermaid I
have ever seen is swimming and playing around me. She dives, she
swirls and she splashes…and for a split second our eyes meet…and
for that split second I see the magical mystery of all the universes.
She turns and dives into the deep. I swim to shore knowing I will
never be the same.
I believe in my BELOVED
In the deepest of my soul I believe in my beloved, I believe in my beloved like I believe in my breath, I feel my beloved, because I yearn, I ache, I feel comforted and in bliss I know my beloved and in ecstasy I am my beloved, most of the time I am left with a yearning of my beloved, and the hope of my beloved, hope that every day will be the day when my beloved comes home, the day when I will come home to my beloved, I believe…
I believe, as I believe in the beat of my heart, as I believe in the kiss of the wind, the sound of the ocean wave, the scent of the blossoms, the sweetness of the honey, the warmth of the sun and the stirring of the moonlight and the wetness of the morning dew, I believe in my beloved, I believe…
Course correcting equals New Momentum.
When ever you course correct, change direction or stop and let go of something that is no longer fueling your desired goals in life…you inevitably open up space for a new path of momentum. This initial momentum has A HUGE FORCE. It’s liken to a slingshot that has been pulled back and then finally released. As this momentum has electromagnetic properties it will attract onto you people, places and circumstances that may inspire and fuel your launch into the new direction. However, it is extremely important at the beginning of this movement that you anchor into the “flavor” of it. That you become intimately connected to it’s rhythm and wisdom. So that you may optimize it’s potential that it carries for you. This means that you need to practice discipline over your old thought patterns and addictive behaviors that distracts you and deflates the power of the new momentum. In the beginning the momentum carries a lot of ease and flow which allows you to first of all recognize it and then start to relax into it with confidence.
Once, you have oriented yourself into the new direction and straddled the wave of new possibilities you need to keep the ride going. How so? Well, the law of nature show us that single minded focus and concentration of a particular energy becomes more powerful.
Words from Rory Vaden,
“ if you lay a piece of paper down on the asphalt on a hot summer day, nothing would happen to it, but if you held a magnifying glass between the paper and the sun, the paper would catch on fire. Why? Because, the magnifying principle simple states one of life’s most important truths, that Focus Is Power.”
This new focus is not about more efforting, it’s actually about more stillness and subtle adjustments of your perspective. It’s about holding still while embracing the new feeling and allowing this new feeling to set the standard as your new guide post. Your job is to create the space and time for the momentum to have it’s full cycle. It might mean that you need to identify first what NOT TO DO, then and only then feel into WHAT TO DO next as you keep courting the new FEELING. Even if it’s slight at times…kind of like a sense memory of some delicious meal you ate in the past. Go back to it and use it as a tool to help you create that feeling in the present moment in all that you do or are planning to do. If you think you lost the momentum, you probably got distracted with other things, ideas or activities that does not support it and you need to stop and allow stillness back into your awareness so that you may listen and feel it’s flavor again. Don’t move until you have caught up with the wave enough for you to stand up on the board and ride it again. But, remember too much movement and you’re off!!! …not enough movement, you’re off again!!! The truth is we all fall off, but the important thing to remember is that it’s more about grace, stillness and concentrated awareness than it is about physical and mental efforting…and please, remember that the more we do it the easier it gets. Practice makes Progress!!! Enjoy the Wave of your new potential!!!
I am looking back on this past year and wondering what I really did and what Life did. It has been a journey of much effort and much practice of letting go and settling back into the natural flow in my life. Not an easy task for a DOER. Even after 20 years of a sitting meditation practice I am still, like many others, challenged by the simple, but difficult task of LETTING GO. It is in my blood to DO. The Vikings where DOERS. I was born and raised in Sweden during a time when girls where expected to grow up to become beautiful, strong, intelligent, successful, independent, maternal, and still be ordinary, NOT unruly, wild, intense and extraordinary. So most of my adult life has been about finding the balance between these two polarities. A life of “efforting” and inner turmoil. Never feeling Enough. Experiencing only the lack of “perfection” in this old model I was still holding myself up again.
This past year I experienced a very humbling journey that invited me back to the path of “ Less Effort” and “ Always Enough “. That I could rest into Life and know personally that I have enough, I am enough and that there is this Divine and Whole part of me that is Perfect just the way I am. That my life sans efforting is still beautiful, magical, and very much worth falling into…
What would it take to NOT DO TOO MUCH and still know that it’s ALWAYS ENOUGH?
“You can trust this. Trust this day, this moment, this breath. You can drop the big story, letting it all unfold as it will, quietly stepping out of the way.” Kirna, Mystic Girl in the City
What is all this NOTHINGNESS about? Have you ever had the feeling of being completely without knowing? Knowing if you are going to have work, food, home or love in your life. Finding yourself putting out much effort day after day, after day…and then NOTHING! Planning, strategizing and even following inner directions and intuitive feelings…just to come up with NOTHING!! Nothing yet, I keep saying to myself. My usually very strong Will is coming up empty handed. My tenacious spirit…yielding NOTHING! There is this crazy buzzing in my heart of plain NO-THINGNESS! There is all of me wanting to be met somewhere, in some form of valued service and with some meaningful engagement by my life as it is right NOW. But, all that is meeting me is….NOTHINGNESS! NOTHING that is moving me outwards and forwards. Quite the contrary….this NOTHINGNESS is moving me backwards and inwards and it hurts. Because all that movement inwards has stirred up a full spectrum of emotional pain bodies that is demanding my absolute attention.
Really! Right now? You got to be kidding me? I am trying to make something happen here!
I am working my buttocks off to keep standing in what I believe I came here to do. Then this NOTHINGNESS comes upon me like a fears lioness protecting her cubs. Well, I am no dummy to the mystery of life arising as the vast unknown in my universe. It has happened before. Only this time it is strongly supported by every aspect of my life.
Not fair! Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to go and distract myself with all my wonderfully addictive behaviors…unattainable relationships, over work, over doingness, over consuming, over indulgence of food, isolation, unhealthy sleep/wake cycles, disconnecting with my feeling heart.
If this has ever happened to you, you must know how overwhelming this can be. You have very little energy and focus available for course redirection. But, this is where you need it the most! One thing that has always showed itself to be true in my life is “ if you are able to breathe then you can breathe your way through anything”. I really mean it! The body is always breathing. You are always breathing. But, the breathing I am talking about is Conscious heart breathing where you participate in your breath. The kind of breathing that is regulated by your larynx and governed by your heart. Not your nose. It is a deeper breathing that allows you to connect to every part of your body and invoke the heart of your soul.
Yes! It really works. For so many reasons I don’t have time to tell you here. Just try it for yourself. I know what you are thinking. “ Like breathing is going to pay my bills, make my boss nicer or fix my partner? “ NO! Of course not. But, it will reconnect you back to the reasons why you are worthy to have all that you are wanting to manifest in the first place. It will fill you up with the most authentic inspiration of self-hood and right actions that are for you, not against you.
OK, this is how I do it. Just 7 minutes a day (my favorite number and according to numerology it is also my “Destiny” number)
- Bring your awareness to your heart.
- Breathe from the area of your heart.
- Imagine putting a big smile on your heart or activate a feeling of compassion or care in your heart.
- Radiate this heart feeling throughout your entire body and let it spread to where ever your breath takes it.
- Remember to welcome what ever is arising from here.
This practice helps me to connect back to my heart and begin feeling my life more intimately again even when being overwhelmed with the world of unknown.
To learn more about the healing abilities of the heart go to drsandrabeddor.com/sandra/heartwellness/
I believe that my life is somehow guided by an underlying current. But, right know my belief is being tested and I am being initiated to KNOW this current personally upfront and center…not just believing in it. This is why it feels so BIG right now.
I even pulled a “Osho Zen Card”. What do you think I got?! The “NO-THINGNESS” Card! It reads…
“Being “in the gap” can be disorienting and even scary…
Nothing to hold on to, no sense of direction, not even a hint of what choices and possibilities might lie ahead. But it was just this state of pure potential that existed before the universe was created. All you can do now is to relax into this no-thingness…fall into this silence between the words…watch this gap between the outgoing and incoming breath. And treasure each empty moment of the experience. Something sacred is about to be born”
Don’t you just love when that happens! Something or someone says the right thing at the right time. Well, I’ll take it! A girls got to do what a girls got to do…
Another thing that I find so helpful at times like this…is eating live and easily digestible foods. My favorite is my “appletini” it is a good liver tonic…
- 5-6 medium granny smiths apples
- 1 large salad bag of baby spinach
- Raw ginger to taste ( I use a lot)
- Juice it all up and enjoy out of your favorite glass!
*Book recommendation for another easy 7 minute practice: “ The Promise of Love, Sex, and Intimacy” by Mark Whitwell.